Sunday, January 15, 2006

Going Home



When your beloved is 16 months old you have no idea that this day, this day when he does not hop up with excitement on the windowsill, does not fly onto your bed but must be fetched, lies quietly while you decide to call the vet just in case, protests as usual as you stuff him into his plush, luxury kitty carrier, moans as you drive down the road, then lies quietly, cowers at the dogs barking at the vet, the cats meowing, then begins to breathe more rapidly, does not want to get up from the weighing scale, is carried by the distressed vet to the back room where you go to see him, frantic now, wanting only to go home with you.
You do not know as you drive home in tears, in shock, as you want to turn around, go back, sit by his side, as you go home anyway, as you get stopped for forgetting to register the car and the young policeman, hearing your words and seeing your face, says " I lost two last year" and lets you go, still you do not know when you come home, wait by the phone, hear that he is sleeping, is resting, may make it through, may survive on medication for years, ten maybe, you wait by the phone, you wait for the time you may return, hold him again, feel his wet kiss, his soft fur, his tiny body, still you wait until the final call and you never realized it would be the last day.

9 comments:

Sissy Willis said...

Oh, no. So sad. Such preciousness so early lost.

PJ said...

I'm so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your beautiful Fergus.
He will be missed for sure.

~ J ~ said...

I have been reading for a while but never left a comment...until today. Through my tears I wish for you happy memories and kitty kisses in your dreams.


Im so sorry......

Max said...

I am so sorry. I just found your blog...Fergus was such a pretty kitty--alot like Dusty, the Cat Who Came Before Me. The People still miss her.

CFO Mom said...

Have been reading your blog since the beginning of December. So sorry to hear about your beautiful boy Fergus. Such a cutie. Know he'll be waiting at the Rainbow Bridge for you to bring him his favorite FF and his harness.

William said...

A visiting friend told us about you. We're so sad to learn about Fergus. Our hearts are with you.

Bridgett said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss of Fergus. Our hearts and thoughts are with you.

George, Tipper, Max & Misty said...

Found your blog over at William of Mass Destruction. We know exactly how you feel. We came home to find our Gracie was dead and the vet blamed it on her heart. So sorry for your loss, but he'll always live in your heart.

Crew's Mom

Digby-Cat said...

We're so sorry for your Fergus crossing the Rainbow Bridge so soon. I saw your site on William's site so I thought I'd drop by and offer our condolences. My mom says that the one thing that gets her through it is knowing that she'll see them again. You'll see Fergus again someday and all of your furbabies.