Cats in Black (and little green men)

I think they got the right idea with that movie but the wrong cast. It's not Men in Black protecting us from alien invaders, it's the Cats in Black. For thirty years I have had a Cat in Black in residence. A Cat in Black is always on duty (and always impeccably dressed).

Just imagine, for centuries aliens have been attempting to invade earth. We've known this and that is why so many science fiction writers and movie makers have been bringing us visions like War of the Worlds. But it wasn't until Men in Black that they almost got it right.

The aliens are very small.

In fact, they are about the size of mice and they have been trying to take over earth for as long as we have been here.

But your loyal Cat in Black is here to protect you. All night he is on vigil, with his hyper extended senses, watching out for the danger to you and your family. He keeps watch for midnight landings and he stares out the window at things you can't see. At dawn he will patrol the perimeter of his assigned territory, keeping it secure for the people. With his deadly weapons he swiftly dispatches any aliens who make a successful landing. And he does this crucial job in secret, asking little in return but a good meal and a friendly pat on the head. We get to live our lives in peace, never aware of this grave threat to our world, lives and security.

It is my theory that every kind of cat has an assigned job. There are companion cats who look after lonely people, there are ferals who are the spies and intelligence agents out there on the front lines sending out reports of alien landings, there are Siamese with their own plan for world domination and there are Zen Masters helping us attain enlightenment (if we were only smart enough to pay attention and make the world a better place) And then there are the Warriors, the brave, courageous cats guarding humanity from alien takeovers that no home should be without.

The Cats in Black.