Tuesday, February 07, 2006


I was working on our humane society web site the other day. It was pouring rain and all possibility of cross country skiing was being washed down the river. Seems like the rain started the day Fergus died and it hasn't let up since. It's been a lousy winter here, too warm.

Anyway, so we were cloistered around the computer making updates and figuring out the mystery of a site done in Fusebox and talking about the animals we loved. And my friend said how some animals come into your life like a comet. And too often, out of it too quickly.

And that's really the way it was with Fergus. I loved him the moment he picked me out on the shelters floor with a dozen other kittens running around. I loved him every minute he was tiny and we had to keep him with us because he was afraid of being left alone. I loved him and worried about him when I decided to let him be happy and explore the woods and the outside world he loved so much and part of me died with him in the oxygen tent.

Last night I woke up feeling a little paw on the bed next to me. It was so real I sat up and looked. No cat to be seen. Brendan was off somewhere and Silas was in his penthouse or with Brendan.

They are all lovable. But it's the extraordinary ones who really tear you apart.

This is the complete picture. I love Fergus, Silas loves Fergus and me.


Patches & Mittens said...

The old saying....

It is better to have loved and lost, then never have loved at all.....this, too can apply to our love for our cats.....No simple answer to loss, is there? I wrote a poem for my Rainbow Bridge page on my website.......I am attaching it.....for you


Nothing can erase the pain of loosing one so sweet;
A kitties love held to our hearts until again we meet.
Think of all the good times you shared when he was here;
And like a tiny shadow, you will feel his presence near.

When the nights get lonely because he's not around;
Just hold his memory tightly, his spirit you have found.
As the days pass without the friend you loved so dear;
Know he loved you till the end, you took away the fear.

Hold this memory to your heart that none can take away;
It will give you reassurance, through the passing of each day.
You know although his body now is not around to see;
His spirit does reside in you, your'e love has set him free.


Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Zuleme, when I lost Charcoal, I had tremendous pain. I'd authorized her death, so I felt it, I think, even worse. Heather was there for me at home. It took some time for her to move into that #1 cat place, but she did - and so strongly that she surpassed every animal I've ever been attached too, Charcoal included. Look at sweet Silas - how he loved you and Fergus both. He will comfort you more than you know as the pain of losing Fergus resides. He clearly loves you, and loved Fergus, too.
~ tammara

Eponine's Cowboy said...

Those are beautiful pictures.

I always was taking pictures of my monster and have only one or two of us actually together.